Disabled and neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ individuals often co-create adaptive communication practices within their romantic partnerships; however, little is known about how these strategies evolve over time. We present findings from a diary and co-design study with five disabled LGBTQIA+ partnerships, documenting how communication is negotiated and sustained through shifting relational, emotional, and access needs. We argue that this ongoing work constitutes a relational infrastructure—the communicative system of shared practices, adaptive routines, and negotiated meanings that disabled and neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ partners co-create to navigate their shared lives. To model these dynamics, we introduce the Relational Access Framework for Communication (RAF-Comm): A Model for Disabled and Neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ Partnerships, a provisional and generative framework that centers identity, co-creation, and adaptation as fundamental to relational accessibility. Our findings highlight the conditional use of technology and the importance of non-use as a valid, relationship-preserving choice. We conclude with design implications for technologies that support the personal, continuously evolving ecosystems of care these partnerships create for themselves.
ACM CHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems